In the UK, relationship charity Relate offers support to people suffering from sex addiction, with two men speaking out about the impact it has had on their lives.
“At his worst, five times a day was not enough.”
Rebecca Baker, a mother of three, said she was diagnosed with the condition in 2014 and her relationship deteriorated.
Due to this habit of theirs, they repeatedly ask their partner to have sex.
“When I woke up, it was the first thing I thought about,” said Rebecca, 37.
It seemed to me that everything reminded me of him. I thought it might be related to my depression. I felt like my whole body was hungry for it.
“It gives me instant gratification, but five minutes later I want it again.”
“I was cornered, I stayed at home because I was embarrassed because I kept thinking about it. Although no one can read my mind, I still feel uneasy.
Rebecca’s addiction took a toll on their relationship. Although his partner enjoyed the attention at first, it gradually became a source of discomfort for him.
At first he was fine but then he couldn’t understand it. After a few months, he began to question why this happens.
He accused me of having an affair. He thought I might be regretting now, so I want to have sex with him.
In 2014, Rebecca decided to take a break from the relationship and moved in with her mother.
“I told my partner before I left that I needed a break. He let me go but the relationship broke up soon after.’
“I was undergoing treatment at the time but my doctor changed my medication several times but didn’t tell me that there are groups that help with this.”
Rebecca was diagnosed with depression in 2012 after having her third child, which worsened after her job change and separation in 2014.
“I changed my lifestyle to overcome depression and my addiction,” he said. Who also worked.
According to the charity Relat, sex addiction is like any sexual act out of control and the World Health Organization is likely to include this condition of ‘sexual behavior disorder’ in the 2019 disease classification list will add.
Unfaithfulness to wife
Graham, whose identity has been changed, said the addiction led him to cheat on his wife and have relationships with dozens of sex workers, which he deeply regrets.
He said, “When you’re addicted, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep, you just keep thinking about it.” `
It was a horrible and disgusting experience that there was nothing in the world but sex. When you wake up, you’re in pain. It’s not exactly sexy.
“It is harmful and destructive to life.”
Graham, who is in his 60s, says he spends hundreds of pounds a month on sex workers.
“What started as an affair at work became my daily addiction.”
“You make one relationship and then you want a second and a third.”
‘Soon I realized that the fastest way to satisfy my addiction was to pay for it. I used to go to sex workers three or four times a week.
He says: ‘It’s like getting addicted to alcohol. You start freaking out just thinking about how it’s going to happen. And you act on it according to your plan.’
“But after doing it, you feel regret and say you will never do it again.”
A journey from shame to dignity
Graham decides to end his horrible double life when his wife sees one of his emails and questions him.
He contacted a support group for people suffering from sex addiction.
“When I came to know about this, I thanked God that now something will change. I call it going from shame to dignity.
‘When I would visit them, I would feel a little better that there are others who are in the same trouble as you are.
“For those who are struggling with this problem, I would just like to tell them that there is a way out, you can break the cycle.”
Sex addiction is a growing problem, says ATSAC, an organization that treats sex addiction.
He says the number of people coming to him for help has doubled in the past five years to 170, the majority of whom are men.
In 2013, 21,058 people filled out a questionnaire about sex addiction. According to which 91 percent of the people seeking help were men.
Among them, the largest age group was people aged 26 to 35 with 31 percent, while people under 16 or over 55 years of age accounted for eight percent.
“We provide individualized treatment and engage people in group recovery programs,” says Paula Hall, co-founder of ATSAC.
Peter Saddington, from Relatt, said: “People with addictions know it’s harmful but they can’t stop themselves from doing it. They have to realize they need help to change.” ‘
It would be better if these people go to a doctor and get help. It is not good for their relationships, family, financial situation as well as their mental health.”